Day 99-Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Day 99-Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Well, this is interesting…After all the craziness ALL THE WAY from April 3rd!! How many days is that? 14?! Well now, the tables have turned just a tad, and the evilness went away and I am almost positive she is now trying for, instead of a mean-scare-you-into-doing-things, she is changing into Im-THE-helpeless-powerless-VICTIM-person….yeah. Well anyways, she changed into that now. Which makes things different, confusing, frustrating, and stressful to and for me. And I don't like it. BUT!!! A little birdy told me that, she and he will be leaving, for like good, tomorrow. Something about before or after service they will be leaving, as in to Mexico. As in, to not come back here, ever again!! As in, not going to be living here! As in, I would be sharing this house with ONLY Rebe and Leti, as in not with THEM! 

Crazy, I think so! Oh by the way, my burn is SO messed up today! I just got goose-bumps and my back feels like its on fire again! It burns, like crazy! And I don't like it one bit! And now I am hurting. :( And I am dreading the fact that I need to shower right now. thats gonna be a SUPER painful~!! Im gonna feel like Im on fire under water, which is going to be like a nightmare I had one day!! Total freaked me out to the EXTREME, I was wiggin out, in my dreams and in my real life. Cause I kept remembering it for like a week, and kept freaking myself all over again! HAhaha! But seriously it was freaky! I was on fire and so I ran to a river and I jumped into it, but I couldn't stop the fire from burning me, and I am pretty sure I died. And then I woke up and actually felt like I was on fire. Anyways, I don't remember why I had that dream! Oh and, I really have to go shower now. To be ready, for the thing that is happening, that is making me confused, frustrated, and stressed! YEAH! Excitement! :l Anyways, yes I have to go now, to experience physical pain, so that I can be ready to possibly experience emotional pain. Har-har-har! No but seriously I gotta go. I will tell you how EVERYTHING works out and goes down tomorrow. Over and out, for now...

(Back home now) WOW! Ok most of that, I saw coming. The whole 'Lets-hate-on-Margarita-and-blame-her-for-all-our-problems' I TOTALLY saw that coming. BUT what I didn't see coming was the switch flip. The switch that was flipped on, so as to AGAIN and now BOTH! The others, ALL the others, believed it. I don't know how that happened. BUt they all believed it! Because ''they are really gonna change now." Sure they are. Oh don't worry I'll be nice and friendly and seemingly hopeful like the others, but Im not going to be fooled. I am not naive, and I KNOW when someone is faking, lying, acting one way when its not the real way they think or feel or plan on being later. And why because I have spent a better part of my 18 years of life, doing all of the above. 10 years to be exact! 10 years of pretending to have everything perfect, while a whole different mix of emotions are going on inside. I know, whats going on. Im not going to be fooled. Im NOT naive! Im so mad right now, I want to punch a wall, but I can't cause they are all less then plywood they are like paper practically. I wish we needed firewood here, so that I could go split some logs in fiery!